Tom Holt

Content

Books

This page contains the books of an other author I like, Tom Holt.

• The Divine Comedies
• Little People
• Nothing But Blue Skies
• Expecting Someone Taller
• Djinn Rummy
• Paint Your Dragon
• Ye Gods!
• Only Human
• Snow White and the Seven Samurai
• Wish you were here
• Faust Among Equals
• Falling Sideways

The Divine Comedies Here Comes The Sun * Odds And Gods Tom Holt - 2002  ISBN 1-84149-145-4

Two hilarious comic fantasies in one volume! Or so god says.

HERE COMES THE SUN

The sun rises late, dirty and so badly in need of a service it's a wonder it gets up at all. The moon's going to be scrapped soon and a new one commissioned - but they've been saying that for years...

All is not well with the universe ... and it's because the mortals are running the show.

It's time for a Higher Power to take charge...

ODDS AND GODS

It's a god's life at the Sunnyvoyde Residential home for retired deities. Everlasting life can be a real drag when all you've got to look forward to is cauliflower cheese on Wednesdays.

But things are about to change, because those almighty duffers Thor, Odin and Frey have restored a thousand-year-old traction engine ... and the thing actually works. Then there's Osiris, preparing to set out on a quest that will test his wheelchair to the very limits.

Only one thing might save the world. Dentures.

Little People Tom Holt - 2003  ISBN 1-84149-185-3

"I was eight years old when I saw my first elf.”

And for unlikely hero Michael it was his last. Michael’s unfortunately (but accurately) named girlfriend Cruella, doesn’t approve of his obsession with the little people, but the problem is that they won’t leave him alone. And who can blame them when it is his own stepfather who’s responsible for causing them so much misery. Oh yes. Daddy George knows that elves can do so much more than gardening.

Nothing But Blue Skies Tom Holt - 2002  ISBN 1-84149-058-X

There are many reasons why British summers are either non–existent or, alternatively, held on a Thursday. Many of these reasons are either scientific, mad, or both — but all of them are wrong, especially the scientific ones.

The real reason why it rains perpetually from January 1st to December 31st (incl.) is, of course, irritable Chinese Water Dragons.

Karen is one such legendary creature. Ancient, noble, nearly indestructible and, for a number of wildly improbable reasons, working as a real-estate agent, Karen is irritable quite a lot of the time.

Hence Wimbledon.

But now things have changed, and Karen’s no longer irritable.

She’s FURIOUS.

Expecting Someone Taller ... What they got was Malcom! Tom Holt - 2000  ISBN 1-85723-181-3

All he did was run over a badger - sad, but hardly catastrophic. But it wasn't Malcolm Fisher's day, for the badger turned out to be none other than Ingolf, last of the Giants. With his dying breath, he reluctantly handed to Malcolm two Gifts of Power, and made him ruler of the world.

But can Malcom cope with the responsebility? Whilst averting wars, plagues and famines, he also has to protect himself against gods, dwarves, valkyries and other nefarious manifistations of the Dark Ages - none of whom think he is right for the job...

Djinn Rummy A work of comic genies Tom Holt - 2002  ISBN 1-85723-363-8

IN AN ASPIRIN BOTTLE, NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM. Outside an aspirin bottle, however, things are somewhat different. And when Kayaguchiya Integrated Circuits III (Kiss, to his friends), a Force Twelve genie with an attitude, is released after fourteen years of living with two dozen white tablets, there's bound to be trouble.

Take, for example, Jane. All she wanted was to end her miserable life in peace, with a minimum of fuss, in the privacy of a British Rail waiting room, but now she's got a genie for company. Lucky old Jane. Lucky, that is, until the apocalypse rears its ugly head.

Paint Your Dragon Evil is innocent, OK? Tom Holt - 2002  ISBN 1-85723-456-1

The cosmic battle between Good and Evil... But suppose Evil threw the firht? And suppose Good cheated?

Sculptress Bianca Wilson is a living legend. St. George is also a legend, but not quite living.

However, when Bianca's sculpture of the patron saint and his scaly chum gets a bit too life-like, it opens up a whole new can of wyrms...

The dragon knows that Evil got a raw deal and is looking to set the record straight. And George (who cheated) thinks the record's just fine as it is.

Luckily for George, there's a coach-load of demons on an expenses-paid holiday from Hell who are only to happy to help him. Because a holiday from hell is exacly what they're about to get.

Ye Gods! Tom Holt - 2003  ISBN 1-85723-080-9

BOYS WILL BE ... BOYS?

Being a hero bothers Jason.

It's easy to get maladjusted when your mum's a suburban housewife and your dad's the Supreme Being. It can be a real drag slaying fabulous monsters and retrieving golden fleeces from fire-spitting dragons, and then having to tidy your room before your mum'll let you watch "Star Trek".

But it's not the relentless tedium of imperishable glory that finally brings Jason to the end of his rope; it's something so funny that it's got to be taken seriously. Deadly seriously...

Only Human Tom Holt - 2000  ISBN 1-85725-949-0

Something is about to go wrong. Very wrong.

What do you expect if the Supreme Being decides to get away from it all for a few days, leaving his naturally inquisitive son to look after the cosmic balance of things?

A minor hiccup with a human soul and a welding machine leads to a violent belch, and before you know it the human condition - not to mention the lemming condition - is tumbling down the slippery slope to chaos.

There's only hope for mankind. And that's being optomistic.

Snow White and the Seven Samurai Tom Holt - 2002  ISBN 1-85723-988-1

ONCE UPON A TIME

(or last Thursday as it's known in this matrix)...

Everything was fine. Humpty Dumpty sat on his wall, Jack and Jill went about their lawful business, the Big Bad Wolf did what big bad wolves do, and the wicked queen plotted murder most foul.

But the human hackers cried havoc, shut down the wicked queen's system (Mirrors 3.1) and corrupted her database - and suddenly everything was not fine at all. But at least we know that they'll all live happily ever after. Don't we?

Computers and fairy tales collide to hilarious effect in the last sparkling cocktail of mayhem, wit and wonder from the master of cosmic fantasy.

Wish you were here Tom Holt - 2001  ISBN 1-85723-687-4

It was a busy day on Lake Chicopee. But it was a mixed bunch of sightseers and tourists that had the strange, local residents rubbing their hands with delight.

There was Calvin Dieb, the lawyer setting up the property deal, who'd lost his car keys. There was Linda Lachuk, the tabloid journalist who could smell that big, sensational story.

There was Janice DeWeese, who was just on a walking holiday but who longed for love.

And finally, but most promising of all, there was Wesley Higgins, the young man from Birmingham, England, who was there because he knew the legend of the ghost of Okeewana.

All he had to do was immerse himself in the waters of the lake and he would find his heart's desire. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Faust Among Equals Tom Holt - 2001  ISBN 1-85723-265-8

WELL I'LL BE DAMMED...

The managment buy-out of Hell, wasn't going quite as well as planned. For a start, there had been that nasty business with the perjurers, and then came the news that the Most Wanted Man in History had escaped, and all just as the plans for the new theme park, Eurobosch, were under way.

But Kurt 'Mad Dog' Lundqvist, the foremost bounty hunter of all time, is on the case, and he can usually be relied upon to get his man - even when that man is Lucky George Faustus...

Exuberant, Hell-raising comedy from Tom Holt at his inventive best.

Falling Sideways Tom Holt - 2002  ISBN 1-84149-110-1

From the moment the first Homo Sapiens descended from the trees, possibly onto their heads, humanity has striven towards civilisation. Fire. The Wheel. Running Away from furry things with more teeth than one might reasonably expect - all are testament to man's ultimate supremacy.

It is a noble story and so, of course, completely and utter fiction.

For one man has discovered the hideous truth: that humanity's ascent to civilisation has been ruthlessly guided by a small gang of devious frogs.

Frogs that rule the universe.

The man's name is David Perkins and his theory is not, on the whole, widely admired, particularly by the frogs themselves who had, frankly, invested a great deal of time and effort in keeping the whole thing quiet.